Monday, October 3, 2011

FALL BEGINS...







Well, the best thing about fall is that there is FOOTBALL!! This year Haley started cheerleading and she is doing so well at it. She loves this soo much more than dance or tball. The past few weeks I did my AT days at Keesler and it was not fun. Today I came back to my civilian job and I am so very happy to be back. Haley has been doing really well in school and so far has all A's. Hunter started back at the preschool on the Navy Base a few weeks ago and he is excited to play with all of his old friends again. Hunter will be 5 in 14 days. I wish they would stop growing so I would stop getting older! The weather is finally starting to cool down and I am loving it. I am thinking I will be able to start wearing scarves by Halloween. haha! Here is a picture of marty, me, and Tiffany at BWW watching the games on a Sunday :)


"There’s always room for love; You just have to move a few things around."






Tuesday, July 5, 2011

MY LITTLE SECRET

Wow...i totally forgot about this blog && decided I want to start doing it again. It has been almost 2 years since I last posted anything. I am still working at the Navy Base, but with Hewlett Packard now instead of Apex Systems. The pay and benefits are so much better! The kids are doing great. They are with their dad in NM for 30 days, so I am going crazy without them. :( I am not sure if anyone even reads this. I have not told anyone about it and it is like an online diary for me. I really hope that no one really takes the time to read it...i just like to be able to write about what is going on in my life without anyone reading or having proof of it anywhere in my house. It is my little secret :) haha. I'll write again soon...

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

BUSY AND BLESSED!

So, it has been quite some time since I have been on here. My life is okay i guess. There are a few things I would like to fix, but over all it is good. May made a year since i moved back to Mississippi. i love being near my parents again. I loved being active duty, but it is so much better having my parents around to watch my kids grow up. Work at the Navy Base and at Keesler are both going well! School is making me soo soo soo tired and I wish it would be over already! I just have to keep telling myself that I graduate next year and I have to toughen up. So the kids and I started going back to the church I went to before I left for the military. We go 2-3 days a week and they absolutely LOVE it! Haley is in the mini M&M's, which is a choir for the little one's and she likes it. She will also start Awana in a few weeks. I am in the process of teaching her how to read as well and it is pretty tough. haha! Hunter is still in the middle of being potty trained and he has an accident every couple of days, so he is doing better. I have been working out everyday of the week and it is tiring, but I need my body back that I had before kids. I know that I can do it if I really push myself and make it a goal I really want to achieve. Besides all of that, life is pretty much the same.

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
*1 John 4:8*

Thursday, December 25, 2008

FORGIVE AND FORGET

There comes a time where you can forgive someone, but most of the time you can't forget. Sometimes it is even hard to forgive though. When do you actually fogive someone and how do you ever forget what they did to hurt you? I guess you will really only know in your heart if you can forgive. I have decided that you only live once and you can't spend your whole life wondering if you can forgive that person. Just learn to forgive and hope that they learned from the mistakes they have made and will not make those mistakes again.

But on a good note I have met some wonderful people here in good ole Mississippi since I have been back. I have a wonderful BFF who means a lot to me and we have the best times together. She is also known as Aunt Kim to my kids. I, of course have my other BFF; who is a guy. He doesn't always like the choices I make in life and he is not afraid to tell me! But I know that he loves me and only wants the best for me! Love you Jase! There is also another guy in my life. He is not a boyfriend, but he is more than a friend to me. He makes me feel like a kid again with a crush. We only see eachother maybe once or twice a week and I hate that. But with both of our busy schedules, that is all we have. I love spending time with him, but I know he will be leaving for OCS soon . So i guess all I can do is have fun and spend all the time I can with him for now and then just try and keep in touch as friends after he leaves. I just know that all I need right now is to focus on graduating and getting a better job that pays more than the $18/hr I am making now. I want to get out of this state too...the jobs here suck ass!

To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

Monday, October 13, 2008

THE HOLIDAYS

So i moved into my apt and I LOVE it! The only thing missing is a guy to cuddle with in my bed. lol. The kids like not having to share a room like we did at my parents house. I like having my 60 inch tv again, which i had to put in my room and buy a 42 inch for the living room to fit over the fire place. My classes are going well. I wish they would hurry and be over with so i can start the next 4 and get closer to graduating. I am loving the weather how it is getting cool outside. I am starting to get the "christmas feeling". I love Christmas!! I love to buy presents, decorate the house, sit by the fire place and drink some wine, watch romantic holiday movies, wear sweaters and scarves, and all the yummy food. I like Christmas so much i even decorate early. I like to decorate right around my birthday (9 Nov) so that i can have all the decor up for almost 2 months. I know it is weird...who decorates for Christmas before Thanksgiving arrives??? I DO and i LOVE it. I love the holidays and wish they would last longer...so this is me trying to make it last longer. haha! I am sure all of my friends will make fun of me for doing it too! oh well...

Time for me to stop writing...

"Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says For the woman I love and the second, For my best friend."

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

LONG TIME...

I have not kept up with this blog like I said and thought I was going to do. Everything is going so much better than before. I have now been at my job for over 2 months and I have already gotten a $3.50/hr raise, which helps me out soo much. I also found a place to live. I move into it in about 2 weeks and it is reall really pretty. It is also 1,500 square feet, which is more than enough room for the kids and I. The kiddos are starting daycare on the Navy Base where I work next week, which will save me $ on gas and $320/month on daycare. I just started 3 more classes for this semester on Monday and I am sure they are going to be fairly easy. They are all on-line which was all I have ever done except for 3 classes. Besides work and school, I have not done much. I am sure I will see my friends a lot more when I get my own place because I can invite them over whenever I want. I also can not wait to get my internet so I can get my XBox 360 account activated again so i can play me some Halo 3 on-line with my friends in New Mexico. On Sunday I had my mom cut my hair! She cut like 8-9 inches off. Last night my friend and I dyed my hair Auburn and I think I like it. It reminds me of my senior year in high school when I had it this same color :) Well, off to do some homework...


xoxo

I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

FOR A STRANGER

So today was my 3rd day at my new job. It is going good and I think I am going to like it. The people are awesome that I work with. After work I just came home and hung out with the kids for a little bit and then when i put them in bed I left to go to Wal-Mart. Afterwards I ate at Whataburger and it was DELICIOUS! While I was there I did something that just made my whole night. I was sitting in the drive through waiting for my turn and when I pulled up to the window I decided not only to pay for my food, but to pay for the food of the 2 cars behind me. I did not care about how much it was, I just wanted to reach out and do something nice for one or two people and hope that they turn around and do it to someone else. A friend of mine wrote something a while back that I read and I thought it was wonderful. It has encouraged me to do this and to try and do more things like this. The point was NOT that I paid for their food, it was that I took the time to think about other people...people that I had never met and did something for them that most people would not do. Everyone should just give one thing to a complete stranger (even if it is as little as advise) and then you will feel that you have done something wonderful and you will feel great about it. I am not as happy here in MS as I thought I was going to be. I do miss my job in the AF more than anything. If I could change my mind and go back to NM I probably would. I do not want to leave my parents, but I just do not feel complete in what I am doing. I actually broke down and started crying in the bathroom when I got home from work because I feel so empty and alone and feel like I made the wrong decision. I feel much better knowing that I did something nice for a stranger today, hoping that if they are feeling more down than I am that I would put a smile on their face and they would know that It is not as horrible as we are making it out to be.

"Happiness comes to those who are moving toward something they want very much to
happen. And it almost always involves making someone else happy."

xoxo

Thursday, June 19, 2008

NOT CRAP...

Today was not too bad! I first took Haley && Hunter to McD's for lunch && they seriously played for over an hour in the PlayLand. After that we went to to beach for about 2 hours. It was soo much fun && the kids had a blast. We came back home and I did some laundry and the dishes...fun, huh? Around 9 p.m. I went over to my friend Nick's house and ate some shrimp with him and some other friends. it sure was YuMmy!!! SO that was my day && i am worn out. I have been looking at houses for sale on-line. I am looking into buying one within the next 6 months (I am hoping for the next 90 days though). I have not found one that I like in my price range yet.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

HAPPY

So today was really slow && I did not do too much. I went and bought my kids some more summer clothes...which are WAY ♥cute. I was going to go running but got too lazy. I am going to wake up at 5 am and go before I go to work. My dinner was awesome!!! I had some fried shrimp, boiled shrimp, dirty rice && french fries. I am SoO ExciTed to do my Reserves this weekend!! I like to stay busy...I am sure I might regret that comment when I start my new job with Apex Systems on the 23rd!! So I just figured out once every month I am going to be working 12 days straight because of my 5-day work week 2-days Reserves and then 5-day work week again! That is going to suck!! But I do not want to get completely out of the military because I LoVE It! Well that is about all I have today...very boring!! Gotta get to bed...

So I have decided that I want to put a quote that I like in every post that I make, so here is the first of many:
"True love is not something that comes everyday, follow your heart, it knows the right answer."

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

MY RIGHT? CHOICE

I wonder if I did the right thing by leaving Active Duty Military. Everything was great. I was making 1,300 every two weeks. I had free medical and dental for me and my kids. I had a free house, which was really nice and I had a free chance of traveling the world. I never got to go to Europe like I was expecting to do when I left New Mexico. I wanted to first go to Germany and then back to Okinawa, but I guess that is not going to happen. I know that I will be graduating next year from college and I will make way more than what I was making. I just feel like I am letting my kids down by taking this path. But I guess it will all be worth it next year. wow...I guess I can say this is the first time I have cried since I have been here. I just feel like a failure now. I feel like I am a failure at marriage, at being a mother and just plain being responsible. Who does this? Who has kids and just quits their job to move away from their spouse? I only decided to do this about a month before I came here. I did it for an escape and to get away from the last 5 years of my life. Does everything really happen for a reason? Did this happen because I am going to be better off here? I just have to take it one day at a time and see what this NEW LIFE brings me...

Sunday, June 8, 2008

LOVE AGAIN?

There is a time when you fall in love with someone and you know they are the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with. You would do anything and everything just to make this person smile. You would do things for this person that you never saw yourself ever doing. But what do you do when you give someone all of your love and all you get are lies? What if you confront them and they turn it back around on you? How can you be in a marriage like this? How do you leave a marrige when you are still in love with the person? I finally decided I would rather cry because I am without him than to cry because he lies to me everyday. I finally know after 4 1/2 years that I can do this on my own, I can be strong and leave. I left. I have not cried one time!!! I hope that I can still find another love that will love me more than anything in this world and will not lie to me. I want all the first time things again. I want the first kiss, the butterflies in my stomach when I am around him, first time meeting the parents, first Christmas together. I want so much more than before. I want to get married again and actually HAVE a wedding. I want to lie under the stars with him and kiss in the rain everytime it rains. I want someone that would go running with me everyday. I guess I am asking for a lot :) ...but maybe there is someone out there like this!

Friday, June 6, 2008

JOBLESS

So I have decided that I need to get a job. My kids are driving me insane and I am used to having a job. I think 3 days was the longest I ever went without a job before now. It is also weird living back at home with the rents. I need my OWN house! Besides not having a job and living with the rents, everything else is going well. I am in school full time and making money from it, so that is not too bad! I have been having a lot of fun with some of my old friends. I feel like a kid again being back here. I do miss my other friends in New Mexico though. I do hope that I will get my southern accent back, because right now everyone is saying that I talk like a Yankee! HaHa!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

A NEW BEGINNING

I just moved back to Mississippi after being away for 5 years. I seriously never thought that I would have moved back here. I thought the next place I would move to would have been Utah because that is where my husband is from. He is my soon to be x-husband. I never wanted it to be that way, but I was tired of being hurt all of the time and tired of crying when he was not around. We have 2 children. A girl that is 3 and a boy that is 19 months old. They also came to MS with me. I am now in school full-time and a stay at home mom during the day and in the AF Reserves one weekend a month. Well, the two reasons I am starting this blog is because my sis in-law has one and because I think it will help me to open up to a new life again and to start over...my on-line diary that everyone can view :)

 
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